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Sittin' here, surfin' dA, kinda lost in thought...

Thu Jul 2, 2009, 6:05 PM
  • Mood: dA Love
  • Listening to: Glass Skin (appropriate, I know...)
  • Reading: Fragile Things, Neil Gaiman
  • Watching: Nada
  • Playing: FF Tactics Advance
  • Eating: Chocolate Gelato
  • Drinking: Wasser
Heyla, everyone. It's been a while, I know...it's been a rough few months...

First off, I want to say that I've missed this site so much more than I thought I ever could...and looking through all the new talent, I've been feeling a great deal more like my old self than I have in quite a long time. Though, it's been hard...my grandpa died a few days ago, and his funeral's tomorrow. And really, he's the reason I was reminded that family isn't EVER just blood. He was my stepgrandfather, though you never would have known it if you saw us together. My real grandfather...well...he's only that by blood. I honestly would not be surprised to see him tomorrow, all dressed to the nines, smiling that disgusting smirk that reminds me why I, having suffered nothing under him, still manage to hate him more than any other. 'Grandfather' probably would have insisted that I be disowned when I came out to everyone, if he hadn't managed to lynch me first...

Ah, I sound so pathetic, I know...but that's where my grandpa came in. He wasn't blood-kin...and neither are any of you, nor any of my truly dear friends. And yet...and yet you're just as much my family as anyone else...and that's a joy I've long since felt I didn't deserve...But I'm honored to have it. I guess...I just wanted to say that, since I haven't been online in forever, and haven't heard from most of you for just as long. *smiles a little* I think...I won't mourn tomorrow...he wouldn't want to see me cry. But I will celebrate him, and remember...and if something gets in my eyes, I'll let it be for a time...

Thank you all...

Cass

12 Comments

Devious Comments

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:icontyc113:
*TyC113 Jul 2, 2009, 6:54:52 PM
Glad you're back again Cass, i'm glad you're alive still. How's your summer going?

Sorry about your loss.

--
Blackbird singing in the dead of night.

My youtube [link]
:iconmistrissyuki:
*Mistrissyuki Jul 2, 2009, 7:35:37 PM
T-T I'm so so sorry about your stepgrandfather!! that's so sad T-T but I'm sure he died knowing how much you loved him.

As for your blood-grandfather, I hope he suffers for that...I can't believe he could actually do anything to his own family, especially for something like coming out--you can't help who you are! Just because it's different from him doesn't give him any excuse...if it's any consolation, I've never met the man but just from reading that I already hate him...You're a really super sweet girl, and you deserve a loving family T-T

I love you!! :glomp: And I'm so glad you're back ^^

--
"To be forgotten is worse than death." ~Freya Crescent, FFIX
:iconakatsukichild:
~AkatsukiChild Jul 3, 2009, 7:12:22 AM
I have a stephgrandfather too. Blood has NOTHING to say, what is importen is who you care for and who cares for you! >< It's sad to hear that your grandfather is dead, but it's really strong of you to think the way that he don't want you to cry and that you'll stay strong for him.

--
"Don't think, feel!" - Chie from Persona 4

Hitsugi is the light of my life! :heart:

INSANE KITTIES CAN BE NICE! My mom told me so... :)
:iconsana-sama:
~Sana-sama Jul 4, 2009, 1:20:22 PM
It's going alright, all things considered. Yours?

--
Plushie Revolution is nigh~!!!!!!!
:iconsana-sama:
~Sana-sama Jul 4, 2009, 1:26:44 PM
:glomp: Thanks, dearheart. I'm just glad his suffering is over, and he's not in pain anymore. Besides, he had a hell of a turn out for his memorial. Love ya too...and this is why I came back ^^

--
Plushie Revolution is nigh~!!!!!!!
:iconsana-sama:
~Sana-sama Jul 4, 2009, 1:29:31 PM
*smiles* It actually wasn't so bad...there was a lot of love yesterday, and anyone who had a hard time immediately had three or more shoulders to lean against and cry on. He has a beautiful part of the cemetery, just a few yards from the duck pond, with his sister next to him. I'll miss him, but I'm glad he's not sick anymore. It was harder watching him struggle to breathe than to watch his casket close...

--
Plushie Revolution is nigh~!!!!!!!
:icontyc113:
*TyC113 Jul 4, 2009, 1:58:55 PM
It's going, to say the least.

--
Blackbird singing in the dead of night.

My youtube [link]
:iconakatsukichild:
~AkatsukiChild Jul 4, 2009, 2:40:36 PM
Good to hear. :) That's nice, sounds pretty.

Yeah, I guess it is. And he probably is watching over you from somewhere, don't get scared. :XD:

--
"Don't think, feel!" - Chie from Persona 4

Hitsugi is the light of my life! :heart:

INSANE KITTIES CAN BE NICE! My mom told me so... :)
:iconsamurikenshin:
Mood: Sadness ~samurikenshin Jul 6, 2009, 8:08:36 AM
Sorry about your loss.....I also lost someone in May by his own hand. You will get stronger by this experience...just take care and celebrate his life.
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